Saturday, March 21, 2015

Because I Can't Say...

Because I can't say "I love you"...not yet.
Not because I don't.  I do. I want to...
say it.

But because I can't, I hope you know.

I hope you know by my laughter
when you draw lingering giggles from the
depths of my belly,
or by the involuntary broadening and lifting of my lips, and mouth, and cheeks, when your face, with its crooked smile, appears before me or in my mind, 
and the warmth of yearning spreads over
me like a lovingly worn blanket.
I hope you know when I am in your embrace and fall easily by your side into the place that feels carved out for me.  

I hope you know when I can't explain how I feel or how I know.  The knowing. 
The sense in which you have always been...
like a lovely poem read long ago and,
because of its beauty, etched in my
memory, comforting me in times of fear or loss.
Familiar, easy...quiet and gentle, 
but with a great strength which allows me
to rest.  
I hope you know, because I can't say
"I love you"...not yet.  

Not because I don't, 
because I do.  



Friday, March 20, 2015

The Long Way Home

It has been almost exactly three years since my last post! I don't exactly know what happened to my writing and posting...well, I do.  Two beautiful, busy teenage girls, two jobs and a household seemed to move the writing down the priority list...FAR down the priority list. So, to catch up, quickly, I'll try to fill you in. Since my last post:

My oldest graduated from high school
and went to college...

my youngest graduated
and went to college...
I started running...

...and lost 50 pounds, thank God!
AND, I got the most amazing opportunity to travel to Gallito, Peru on the Amazon River to work with these precious children...


I moved to a cute little house (pictures to follow) after the gorgeous, pre-war apartment I was living in burned (can't make this stuff up). I still work as a speech/language pathologist for our local county school system, but I am now based full time at an elementary school 5 blocks from my home.  Since I'm an empty-nester now, it has been nice to become part of the neighborhood and the school "family".  
So, there is the short and short of it.  My youngest daughter, Lydia, has said, at least a dozen times in the last few months, "Mom, you need to start blogging again."  I have wanted to, but have been a little unsure of how to start.  Well, I suppose this is how to start.  Take a step, put it down and..."click".
I'm looking forward to writing about all the things I have before and hopefully, sharing new ideas and experiences and, of course, sharing joy---for today.