Sunday, June 19, 2011


From my journal, dated June 21, 2009 and Days With Dad:

Today is Father's Day.  Definitely a surreal experience.  Even stopping for a card and gift  was the strangest we assume that this is his last--then, do we indicate that? Do we say it?  Do we say what we're all thinking? It's so truly...odd.

So, I saw Dad today for the first time since he left the hospital.  His weight has dropped even more and he is as thin as I remember him as a very young girl, though without the muscle tone, the sturdiness...the strength.  He is not eating---totally uninterested in most foods which is difficult to watch (since all of our family celebrations, Father's Day included, have always centered around and celebrated food!)  However, he is somewhat ornery and silly today which is Dad, my dad, though of course unseen at the hospital in 3 1/2 silly there, no light hearted laughter, no...

It's a strange thing to sit around and talk about the end of life. You know, with Grandma
Chappy, we knew death was imminent but didnt' talk about it openly with her, but with Dad, today, we talked about it like we would the score of last night's game or the weather.  It just is.

Dad told me he was proud of me and wanted me to take care of the girls.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love and miss you today more than ever.

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